Aradia and Tavros overthrow the Queen
by Toreadumb
Summary: Aradia and Tavros decide that the time has come to overthrow the evil Earth dictator that is Queen Elizabeth the second. My friend requested this beauty.


**AN: OKAY so I finally wrote a fanfiction. Something tells me I will only ever write crack on here because I can't do serious omg. But this is for my skype friend Daniel who thought that Tavros and Aradia should overthrow the Queen of England. I don't know why. But I hope he enjoys this bed time story ~ :) **

**If anyone wants me to write some crack for them, I'm totally up for it. Just tell me a ship and a vague plot direction and I'll give it to you. :) Please rate and review or whatever. Or don't. This was only originally gonna be for Dan's eyes.**

* * *

One fine day Tavros woke up in his respiteblock. It was just like any other day really: his head didn't fit properly in his recuperacoon, Vriska hadn't thrown his stuff all over the floor by assaulting his hive through the ever open window... but Tavros felt that something special was going to happen today. As he clambered out of his cruelly tall recuperacoon he heard the familiar chime of Trollian. He quickly ran to his husktop to see who was messaging him. From a quick glance he could see it was his beloved moirail, Aradia. He clicked on the window which said 'apocalypseArisen'.

- apocalypseArisen began trolling adiosToreador -  
AA: tavr0s  
AA: tavr0s!  
AT: hI, sORRY, i ONLY JUST GOT UP,  
AA: haha silly tavr0s  
AT: wHY ARE YOU TROLLING ME, sO EARLY IN THE DAY,  
AA: i f0und s0mething 0ut ab0ut the future  
AT: wHAT,  
AA: in the future after y0u have y0ur legs chainsawed 0ff  
AT: wAIT, wHAT,  
AT: wHY WOULD ANYONE CHAINSAW MY LEGS OFF,  
AA: vriska cripples y0u  
AT: uHH,  
AA: sh00sh  
AT: oKAY,,,  
AA: anyway! after that we meet s0me aliens called humans and their planet is run by a cruel dictat0r called the queen of england  
AT: sHE SOUNDS SCARY,  
AA: she is! and that is why we as team charge must st0p her!  
AA: ill be at your hive in a few  
AT: uHH,  
AT: oKAY,  
- apocalypseArisen ceased trolling adiosToreador -

Tavros waited a few minutes in his hive, his emotions a mixture of scared and excited. The evil queen of England had to be stopped, but she sounded like a formidable opponent! His thoughts were soon interrupted, however, by a loud knock at the door.  
"Tavros~!" A familiar voice sounded. He hurried to the door and opened it to find Aradia wearing an American flag bikini.  
"Aradia... what on Alternia are you wearing?!" Tavros asked, clearly confused about this strange outfit.  
Aradia soon explained, "On earth, there's this place called America. And this is its flag! I thought it looked sexy, too." Tavros nodded in agreement: the bikini most definitely flattered her surprisingly large 5 sweep old rumble spheres. Without further conversation Aradia grabbed Tavros and they appearified outside Buckingham Palace.  
"Woah, Aradia, where are we?!" Tavros asked.  
"This is Buckingham Palace! The Queen is inside there right now."

Tavros and Aradia gave each other a quick nod before Aradia grabbed Tavros and used his head as a battering ram to destroy the door. After ramming down a few doors Tavros' head was starting to hurt, but there was still one left to open. Aradia used her telekinesis powers to open the last door, and Tavros was too discombobulated to ask her why she didn't just use that for all the doors. The door opened slowly and dramatically, only to reveal...  
Elizabeth the Second, Queen of England, sitting on the toilet.  
"Oh wow, she's using the load gaper!" exclaimed Aradia.  
"That's the evil dictator?!" gasped Tavros, surprised that such a human could possibly be evil or dictatorial.  
"Of course she is, that's just a mask, silly!" Aradia explained.  
The Queen snickered a queenly snicker.  
"It seems that you have caught me, young trolls. It is true, I have been ruling England with an iron fist for years, now. But what you didn't know, was..." The Queen pulled off her mask and her posh English accent descended into a business like American one. "... I am actually Mitt Romney!" Clear as daylight, the face of Mitt Romney was revealed from behind the pruny mask. Aradia and Tavros gasped in unison.

"TAVROS! USE YOUR HEAD!" commanded Aradia with a force she didn't know she had. The still slightly discombobulated Tavros shook his head to clear his mind and charged at the American man on the toilet. As his horn pierced Romney's heart, blue blood spilled out and the truth was revealed.  
"Noooo! You were never meant to know the truth! I was just a troll that wanted some power, so I came to Earth to invade England. My plans kept growing, though, and soon the power was just too much! I was soon a tyrannical dictator of the whole planet, and... and..." The blood loss was too much for the highblood, and he collapsed weakly in defeat. He breathed his last breath and fell into Aradia's bosom.  
"Tav! Tav we defeated him," Aradia said, rejoicing.  
"Maybe tomorrow, we can do the same to Obama," Tavros replied, smiling.

* * *

**AN again: I am so sorry for this. I have updated this so many times to fix errors and also I wrote this at like 11pm in half an hour. I don't know what is wrong with me. **


End file.
